"Wow, he let himself go!"

I'm afraid that the next time I see a lot of my friends (whether that's during Thxgiving or Winter Break), that I'll be hearing this a lot. I've noticed that College is really beginning to take its toll on me. I used to joke around before, that I didn't have to worry, because in High School, my sleep and eating habits were already horrible, and that they couldn't get much worse, so I wouldn't gain the freshman 15 or anything.
Hah.

Lately, I've been clocking out around 5-6 am, waking up around 9, and save for a few rare, occasional naps, I haven't been making up for it. And I look at myself in the mirror in the morning, and damn, I am getting ugly! This reminds me of a post Philip Wang did a while back, when he was looking through old and recent pictures of himself.
Here's an image to accurately show what's happening.


Sorry Phil! Not to say you're ugly or anything! I'm going through the same thing! And I'm only 18! Not to say you're old or anything! I'll stop now....


"I used to look so vital, and fresh. Now worry, regret, pressure, and pain have all made it's marks, and I'm sure, will continue to do so."

I've got some developing crow's feet on my right eye, and some permanant wrinkley bags forming under both my eyes. (but more prominent on the left)




When I find some good, "younger" pics of me, I can create a similar before/after image to better illustrate how far my face has fallen. hahah.

Someone also pointed out, I have two more white hairs growing on the right side of my head. Great. -_-

Haha, what a coincidence, I noticed Mish just made a similar point in her blog.

"suddenly I realized how much my friends and I have aged since then. Even looking at casual group pictures makes me realize that we've aged. Our faces have thinned, our eyes have seen more troubles, our smiles have faded... we're getting older. And I know anyone older than me would argue that we are still "young", but somehow the stark comparison from now and then makes me think I've grown so much older."

Steph even left me a comment on facebook recently, about how she was looking at old pictures of me, and proclaimed how "weiiird!" I look compared to now. Her exact words were,
"Oh man. I was looking back at old photos of you and you looked herra different. :P"

Gee, thanks? In her defense, I think she was referring to when I used to completely shave my head bald. Although regardless. I'm still afraid to look at said pictures.

Gawd. I guess this is sort of a wakeup call to start taking better care of myself.

It doesn't stop there either! Back in HS, I used to have midnight/1am/2am snacks all the time, with no care of the repercussions. I guess that was because I was active in some sort of physical activity, namely martial arts and lion dance. But now that my food/sleep habits (which seem to correlate to eachother) have gotten worse, which I didn't think possible, and I have no outlet for my body to work it off, I've noticed that I'm subtle getting a little pudgy....

Yeah, so I'm getting ugly AND fat.

Not only that, I never figured before, but I don't know HOW to study. Frankly, I've never really had to sit down, and straight study for a few hours. In High School, mostly what I did was pay attention in class, do the homework, and just retain whatever I got from there. That flew by quickly, and now College is completely different. I remember over the summer, when Gordon, a good friend of mine, went to his orientation at UCLA, they told him something really important. That all those read and mental regurgiation tactics of studying in HS won't cut it in college. If you continue those same work/study habits from high school, the best you'd earn is a C. In college, you need to read the material, and learn to critically think on your own.

It's too bad I brushed it off. I was talking to Teresa the other night, and we both found solace in the fact that neither us ever studied, or even KNEW how to study. (Although I bet she's better off than I am.)
*sigh*.
I need to get a study group quick before I crash and burn.


Sorry, that was long, and pointless.

Here's the cliffnotes:

I'm getting OLD, UGLY, FAT, and STUPID.

aish.