I just thought of it now, and since I didn't make a new year's resolution on...well, new years, I'll make one now. Better late than never! I'm such a good procrastinator huh?

I'm going to try calling people. Like actually calling people. To talk.
To avoid going into details, what brought his about was, I wanted to talk to some people, but facebook feels like such an impersonal way to do it. And it doesnt seem to reflect the genuineness I feel when I REALLY do mean, "How are you? It's been a while. I hope we catch up soon!"

So yeah. I'll do that.

Maybe if you're lucky, one night, I'll just randomly call you up to just shoot the breeze.
I want to keep in touch. I don't want to be 20 years down the line, and wondering, whatever happened to these people I once considered my good friends? I hope they're doing well.
No. Fuck that. I want to be 20 years down the line, and wondering, hmm, I wonder what so-and-so and I will do tonight!

I remember at graduation, I made a promise to myself to live by a quote I heard from a graduation speaker.

"You'll regret the things you didn't do, more than the things you did."

Still trying. It's hard, but still trying.
I only live once.


I hate to draw inspiration from, of all things facebook, but I thought this was cool.
A friend of mine had his status as, "reading his history books looking for some answers"
I didn't think much of it, until a friend of his commented, saying something like, "looking through your old journals?"
And that's when it hit me. Journals. Everyone should keep one, because THEY ARE history books. OUR history books. Ways to record our past mistakes, regrets, accomplishments. All of that. I mean, if you don't know your history, you're condemned to repeat it, right?
Maybe that's enough justification for this rambling at 4 in the morning. I'm simply writing my history books.

"This must be it, welcome to the new year..."


The first month of 2009 is almost over. haha. This is crazy. We're 1/12th of the way to 2010. Holy Sh!t.

I'm turning 19 in about 2 months. I can't even comprehend that. Last year of a teenager.(afterall, it's nine-TEEN.) Some would argue that I'm already an adult. (nah.)

This year I didn't make a new year's resolution(not sure if I did last year either), but maybe I should have, seeing as I sort of fulfilled something that would be worthy of one.

What am I talking about?
My crappy sleeping habits. The insomnia everyone knows me for, has been gone, for nearly 2 months.
Haha, that's kind of different.

Yeah. Something in Hong Kong like hit my "reset" button, and ever since, I've been able to wake up early in the morning, ON MY OWN, sans alarm. Yeah, I do mean early, not just "my" definition, like 8am early. AND, I would get tired at normal times, and be in bed before 1ish. 2 would be the absolute latest.

This was the best streak I've had in as long as I can remember. Feels kind of good having a normal sleep schedule. now I just need to start working out again.




now I'm totally jinxing it tonight, by being awake right now. -_-
I'll get up early tomorrow, try to sleep earlier than I am now.

maybe part of what was keeping me normal was I didn't do what I usually did late at night. staying up late, thinking stupid thoughts.
i'll indulge tonight i guess.








Beijing Freeway

Yeah, it's heavy out there
Do things change? Do we care?
Cause I can't still comprehend the meaning of life
Struggle and sin seeps in like a knife
Funny how everything never goes right
Everyday is the same thing with a new fight
It's kinda hard to believe everything's gonna be alright

Thinkin' 'bout back in the day when life was so simple
Didn't have to worry about shit when I was little
But now I'm grown,
I never would have known
In my life i could feel so alone
On the real, can you feel me? C'mon
Gotta move on
Only got one life to live
And it's not too long
I gotta take advantage of all that i have
All the chances that been given to me
Before they're gone
And there's so much that needs to be done
So I'll pray for you... I know I'm not the only one
Struggling with the pain, don't feel ashamed
Cause I know, one day we'll break away, and be saved
Even if your parachute is tearing soon
Even if you climbed these stairs and barely moved
Even if the light in your tunnel leads to your doom
Even if the only light in your life is the moon
Just keep your eyes staring straight up ahead
And never let despair hide, sneak up and strangle your neck
Just get ready, even if your chest feels heavy
Cause there are plenty of seconds to rest, never get lazy
And just face the facts,
Don't stray from the task,
Make this your chance
Don't relax, get yourself back on track
And hold on, be strong, and believe in your own
Cause it's gonna be alright
Believe that

"Oh squiggly line, in my eye fluid.
I see you there, lurking on the periphery of my vision.
But when I try to look at you, you scurry away.
Are you shy, squiggly line?
Why only when I ignore you, do you return to the center of my eye?
Oh squiggly line, it's alright, you are forgiven."

haha, ok, maybe I should go to bed.


ps. i wonder how long it would take me to save up for a used nissan 240sx with decent mileage. hmm.