Heart of APOCALYPSE

I want to read.

Yeah. I really do.

(Psst! What the hell's he talking about?)

Oh don't worry. I'll feed you baby birds.
(daniel tosh reference for the cool kids.)

Yeah.

Specifically I want to read books.

(Still not getting it.)

So. I was in my film class a few weeks ago, and we just watched Platoon. Vietnam war film from the 80s starring Charlie Sheen, directed by Oliver Stone. But enough about that. So afterward, the instructor led a discussion about the film, and inevitably it led to comparisons of Apocalypse Now, another "Vietnam war film". At least, according to everyone else. And I thought, "no guys. this isn't a Vietnam war film at all!" Because, I sort of read the book that inspired it, Heart of Darkness by Josef Conrad....no...barely skimmed the book, back in Ms. Chacon's AP English class. And even my TV Media teacher, screened Apocalypse Now, and heavily emphasized, "This is NOT about Vietnam."
And he's right. But I couldn't add to the discussion. Because I barely remembered ANYTHING from the book. Now I sort of recall, it was the last book we read, and we didn't even write an essay about it. And man. I was so frustrated. I kept trying to think of something, ANYTHING to say, "Hey guys! This isn't a war film! It was a re-imagining of Conrad's novel put in a Vietnam War allegory!"
But damnit! I couldn't even think of the basic plotline. "It's a guy that goes into...Africa? No. It was the Congo. And has to find Kurtz, cause he's this crazy poacher?"
Gawd.

After that class, I felt horrible. Damn. I wish I actually READ the book. More than that, I regret not paying more attention, not absorbing more, not just in Chacons, but all of my high school classes.
Come to think of it. Even for some of the books we did read, and had an essay assigned in, I didn't even fully read all of them. Like Daisy Miller. Sure, I got an A on the essay, but I didn't actually read the book. Most of what I absorbed was from the in-class discussions, notes I wrote down in the margins of the book, and from that I just BSed some 2 page piece of analytical nonsense. *sigh*

I slacked off too much in HS. And the worst part is, I got away with it.

My goal is to go back and reread ALL of the books assigned in Senior year.
Starting with...King Lear? (oh gawd.)
Maybe I'll go easy first.
Heart of Darkness! Daisy Miller! Lord of the Flies!



i feel like such a dork I wasted time actually doing this.

T_T