So, I kind of had a birthday last week. It was crazy, this year, it REALLY snuck up on me. I didn't realize how close it was until about a week before. Most people kind of expect it to be kind of a big deal, but really I didn't see anything special about it, and I still don't. 16 is big. You get to drive. 17 is big. you get to see R-movies. 18 is big. Adulthood. Cigarettes. Porno.(if you're into that.) 19? Totally breaks the cycle. You get nothing. You're a year older. That much closer to a "real" adult. That much farther away from adolescence, and being a "teen". Yes, it has teen in it, nineTEEN. so I do consider myself a teenager still. Maybe I'm in denial.
I felt like planning something fun, since the date was so close to spring break, but I couldn't think of anything, and was kind of lazy. Part of me just wanted something simple, with some friends, maybe catch some dinner, then chill on the shoreline checking out the skyline, taking lame pictures, and thinkin' deep thoughts. But I always get tripped up on invites. I like large social gatherings, but sometimes if it's too large, it's hard to manage and hang with everyone equally. Also, sometimes I feel almost obligated to invite some people, because I hung out with them on their birthday, and it'd feel rude not to return the favor. Lame and immature I know. And there are friends that, I've been really good friends with, but hadn't hung out with in a long while. And then there's the factor that, I know that friends might clash, and might not get along all too well, since I hang out with such a diverse group of people. It's all too much, so I don't like to bother. Whatevs.
And part of me just wanted to get hammered. Sorry.
I caught Lunch with Zach today, and we hung out over the afternoon, catching up a bit, and one thing he pointed out to me is that, in high school, we had some pretty competant teachers. There's so many talented faculty members at Alameda High, I mean, Dr. Dauber has a phd, AND an oscar (best documentary or something.), Mr. Duderstadt graduated from Stanford and has years of experience in the work field of what he teaches, Mr. Joo graduated from MIT and instead of making 6-figures is teaching chemistry to students. If only we had taken advantage of that when we were there.
By the way, calling me at 10am you pretty much guaranteed I'd be asleep Zach. I eventually caught up with you though.
I can't wait 'til we get the old Ole's gang together again. Do you like waffles? Yeah, we like waffles!
Sam turned 19 too. Happy Birthday Sam! Had hotpot for her birthday. tasty stuff.
So yeah. That's all pointless bull. I'm 19. For the most part, I don't feel much different. Besides the fact that I have to shave a bit more often, and my jeans are a lot less baggy.
I've been meaning to do this a while, make sort of a progression of change.
From back in my younger, balder days to now. And I realized, yeah, I think I have changed a lot. Even when I've looked back at my old myspace, which I haven't touched since 2007, even the way I type is different. (I cringe when I read old comments.)
At least I was never into that sTiCKycAPs nonsense. That crap is annoying.
Wow. That first pic is from summer of 06, at Worldview Academy. Gawd, puberty sucked. pimples and bumps all over my forehead. I'm glad my skin has decided to tone down since then.
And what's with the clothes? Wow. Hivemind much? Oversized t-shirt and baggy pants. Remember when that was cool? I mean, lame?
what a progression. craziness.
More wrinkles. Skin looking less youthful.
Dianne keeps telling me to get some cream for my eyebags. Bah.
"One of the greatest things about coming home after being away is the return to familiarity. Familiar places, sights, feelings, roads, friends. It’s the “default”. I often think of home as the “constant” in my life. While everything else in my life is up in the air in a whirlwind of variables, home stays consistent and therefore helps remind me of what’s real, and what’s important."
Phil Wang wrote that in his xanga. now that I look back on it, I know that he's wrong on that. Look a few posts below. Everything always changes. Even home. Alameda has changed so much, in such a little amount of time it's crazy. There's new restaurants, new shops, renovations. All within a year or two. After college, it'll probably be unrecognizeable.
And me. I've changed. And it's not photoshop. All of this happened in a span of 3 or 4 years. Some major changes in even less. So what will I be like after 4 years of college? Hell, what will my friends be like?
For once in your life, just let go.
Brian, Steph, Matt, and Haidee went down to LA for the break. Wish I could've joined. Hope you guys are having fun. Save me a korean taco.
It's 5:09 AM. Time to sleep. This week's going by too quick. Thursday already? Dammit.
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