Bu dong de dao qian
Wo mei na me cong ming
Hao xiang yao hui dao wo men de yuan dian
Ni de yan shen
Chong man mei li
Dai zou wo de xin tiao
Ni de wen rou
Ru ci kao jin
Dai zou wo de xin tiao
Hmm, I knew I procrastinated, but this is getting ridiculous.
I can't believe I allowed myself to let almost 3 months go by.
Honestly, I'm afraid. And it scares me I know that, because I'm still not sure about anything.
Tomorrow, I will do it.
Gawd I hope she's not mad at me. Then again, I probably deserve it. Crap.
Why am I always like this.
Sometimes, looking back, I feel like I've changed so much, and almost become a totally different person. But then at the same time, not at all, especially in parts that count.
But then, there's that part picking at the back of my mind that maybe my fears are a little justified.
It's easy to see, it seems that with everyone I know, we all have our own lives now, totally independent of eachother. Yeah, I guess I'm stupid, since it's pretty obvious, but still. Even if you know it, it was unsettling when I actually saw it in person. Part of me was really happy, but then, I couldn't shake the awkwardness, and the feeling that I was just trying to just "jump in", whilst she, and everyone else had their own things to do.
What sucks about life is, it still goes on, with or without you. I was reminded of this when, during my get together before China with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, a lot of them talked like it was still summer or something. It was pretty disheartening when I had to correct Allison over some of the assumptions she made. *sigh* Things had changed, and even she didn't realize.
I'm guessing most everyone else thought the same thing, but I had to chime in, in my lowly pathetic voice, "oh...no, yeah...it's not......blah"
It was cool though, Allison realized I probably didn't feel like talking about it, and no one asked, so that was alright.
明天
Time's going by too fast. Weeks are going by like they're nothing. It's already February?
I need spring break.
About Me
- Erik
- To borrow a few words for a crappy introduction,
Let's assume you all know me, and I know all of you (all eight of you reading this, that is), and move forward with the this and thats. What follows can serve as a blurry haze of itinerary-style diary entries, random rants, unasked-for-opinions, and the like, which hopefully can serve as confessions of how underwhelmingly human I really am.
Most of my thoughts come to me at odd hours of the night when all of you are tucked into your beds.
“It's at night, when perhaps we should be dreaming, that the mind is most clear, that we are most able to hold all our life in the palm of our skull. I don't know if anyone has ever pointed out that great attraction of insomnia before..."
- Brian W. Aldiss
Disclaimer: I find the most interesting blogs to read are the ones that the blogger writes to him or herself. It feels like I'm peeking a little bit into their mindset and their paradigm of the world. And so, I'm not writing for anyone, but myself. Chances are, it'll be boring, lame, and/or occasionally reflective and maybe even insightful? Nah.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment